Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
