I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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