Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
