She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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