this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
