I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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