we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
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That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
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After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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