pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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