dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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