yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
