Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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