Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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