I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
