On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
