I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
