i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
