He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
His hands were made for my vagina.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
