I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
