She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish my penis had an off switch
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
