I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
