i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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