I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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