Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
