Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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