Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
