Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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