I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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