So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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