you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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