We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
