are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
