Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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