I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
