i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
