you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
