I can't breathe out the right side of my face
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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