I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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