sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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