If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
