Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
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You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
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You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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