apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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