coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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