batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
