She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My day in three words: secret purse cake
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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