She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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