Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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