I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Did I show you my penis last night?
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i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
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Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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