I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
