Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
