dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
