was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
