In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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