do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
