I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
