Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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