If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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