i permit you to call me
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
