I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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