a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
