If i come over, it means nothing
nut hugger
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
