she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize