The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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