Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
