I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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